How To Both Be Involved in Wedding Planning as Partners

One of the biggest complaints I hear from couples I work with is that they feel frustrated that their soon-to-be husband/wife/partner feels absent in the midst of wedding planning and then the partner planning everything, as an effect, doesn’t feel supported. Gone are the days when wedding planning was primarily left to one person. Today, more and more couples are making an active decision to plan together, and rightly so! After all, it’s both of your special day!

SO: LISTEN UP. 

Here are seven easy things to keep in mind as you begin to not only plan for one of the biggest days of your life, but also for your marriage.

Photography | @jamielynnphotography1

1. Start Early and Communicate

I’ve said it a million times before, but communication is KEY. It’s important to start early, especially if you want to have an influence on the big decisions, not to mention the amount of stress you’ll cut down by being ahead of the curb!

Be open with your partner about what aspects of the wedding are important to you. Be clear about your preferences and take note of theirs, too. By communicating from the start, you can ensure both of your dreams are incorporated into the celebration.

2. Choose Your Wedding Attire

While your partner’s attire may take center stage, your outfit matters too! Whether you're envisioning a classic suit, dress or something a little more unconventional, take the time to try on different styles and choose something that makes you feel confident and comfortable. Don't forget to coordinate with the wedding party or the overall theme of the wedding, but make sure it’s something that suits your style. 

Pro tip: If you’re wanting to spice up your attire while still sticking with something more traditional, upgrading to a pocket or arm floral versus a standard boutonniere or corsage is a GREAT option!

3. Help with the Budget

Creating and sticking to a budget is one of the most important parts of planning a wedding. Your input in the budget discussions is vital. Sit down with your partner and your wedding planner to determine what’s most important to both of you. Whether it's a grand reception venue, a live band, or an elaborate floral arrangement, knowing what you both want will help create a realistic budget to make it happen.

Photography | @harperpix

4. Make Decisions on the Wedding Party

You’ll need to choose your wedding party and perhaps other key roles like ushers. While you might have an idea in mind for who fits those roles, it’s always a good idea to discuss this with your partner to ensure you’re both on the same page and confident in whom you choose to stand beside you on your wedding day!

5. Take Charge of the Music

Music plays a crucial role in setting the tone for the entire wedding, from the ceremony to the reception. If you have a favorite band or DJ, bring them into the conversation. You might also want to have a say in selecting your first dance song, or help curate the playlist for the reception. The right music creates an atmosphere!

6. Assist with the Guest List

Yes, your partner might handle most of the guest list, but that doesn’t mean you should sit this one out. Take the time to review the list and make sure you're comfortable with the invitees. This is especially important when it comes to family dynamics. Don't be afraid to step in if there’s any tension or confusion about who should be invited.

Remember: you are your partner’s biggest supporter. If there ARE family tensions, they’ll be looking to you for comfort and support!

7. Plan the Honeymoon

A wedding is an exciting milestone, but don't forget that the honeymoon is the next chapter in your journey as a couple. Get involved in selecting the destination, researching activities, and deciding on accommodation. Whether it’s a relaxing beach getaway or an adventurous trip abroad, make sure the honeymoon is something both of you will enjoy. And don’t be afraid to work with a travel planner for this!

Planning a honeymoon is a BIG lift, but it’s also probably the best way to show your partner how much you love and care for them by treating them to a stress-free get-away following the biggest day of your lives! Check out this helpful resource to get you started.

Photography | @from_the_heart_photog

By far the biggest tip I can give to any couple is to simply be present. Wedding planning can get stressful, but by being an active participant, you’ll help take some of the weight off your partner’s shoulders. Your involvement doesn’t have to mean taking over every decision — it’s about showing up, being present, and making the day meaningful for both of you. Your wedding is a reflection of both of you, and the more you engage in the process, the more memorable and meaningful it will be.

Happy planning!

Xo, 

Katie